Oh Dear

Anonymous has a love wound!! That's today's hot gossip. Get your mind around it.

Happy Monday, Anonymous!

You look sexy in pink.

What If David Chase Did Whatever Anonymous Wanted?

Because I never seem to get to the coffee shop exactly when Anonymous does, I am completely in the dark about how she would have ended The Sopranos if she were in charge of everything, which she is, but people don't seem to realize. I wonder just what she would have done with that last episode...

Sometimes a Cigar Joke is Just a Cigar Joke

Anonymous has long puzzled over Don Gerard's relentless, passionate, perhaps obsessive advocacy of the abolition of smoker's rights in these fine twin cities. Don is normally a totally mellow and unopinionated kind of guy not known for running around town stomping out everyone's liberty, but sure enough he's lost his mind these last couple of years. It's as if he's afraid of cigarettes or something.

And we all know how silly that is!

Well, after directing her team of expert researchers to do exhaustive expert research, Anonymous may have gotten to the bottom of it.

And Now, By Popular Demand

Poor Little Donny's parents wouldn't let him bring monkeys to the house, so how can he ever really be happy? He never got to cuddle up on the couch with an orangutan watching Leave it to Beaver reruns all day and drinking YooHoos until their tummies ached. He never had a chance to teach a gorilla to type. He never had to apologize to the neighbors for one of those naughty chimpanzee messes, and now he'll probably never be able to survive a surprise attack by bonobos. I wish Don's parents had understood the importance of primate-boy bonding.

Oh hey, Anonymous! Here's your hot monkey action!

The Readers are Revolting

A commenter has expressed some kind of concern about the use of cute kittens on Anonymous' blog. Yes, it is possible that cute kittens are the new plague of the intertubes, so we'll just post angry monkeys until the dust settles.

Anonymous Won't Be the Same without Him

Okay. So he's gone now too. Anonymous can barely deal with her grief. She can't check in here or go around trashing up her friends' blogs with sassy comments. She never makes it to the coffee shop on time and can't sleep through the night for thoughts of him. Whatever. He was funny, sure, but Anonymous has so much to live for. GET OUT OF BED, WOMAN.

Here She Is

I should have guessed.