Day Two: Not Your Barista, Sista

Haven't heard a peep from Anonymous about the long road ahead, either making our own espresso drinks or facing the chilling absence.

Not Making Our Coffee Anymore: Day One

Anonymous doesn't really feel the loss yet, since she's still out of town partying with her sister and hott friend, but today was officially the first weekday of Francis Not Making Our Espresso Drinks Anymore, EVER. I got through it pretty well, but I'm very worried about how it's going to affect Anonymous, what with her being a couple of days behind in the grieving process.

Moral Degenerates Everywhere

Hey, Anonymous! Guess what I heard on NPR this morning on my way to the coffee shop where YOU WEREN'T because you were OUT OF TOWN to party with your sis and her hott friend...

Regarding subsidized housing, an advocate said, "At the end of the day everyone has the right to a hard unit." I know this issue is just as dear to you as it is to Don Gerard, and since you were probably drowning out NPR's soothing monotone with your sister's blender, I wanted to make sure you got the news.

Anonymous' Friday Gift to You!

Let the Cats Demonstrate

I think you know what they're talking about.

Oh Dear

Anonymous has a love wound!! That's today's hot gossip. Get your mind around it.

Happy Monday, Anonymous!

You look sexy in pink.

What If David Chase Did Whatever Anonymous Wanted?

Because I never seem to get to the coffee shop exactly when Anonymous does, I am completely in the dark about how she would have ended The Sopranos if she were in charge of everything, which she is, but people don't seem to realize. I wonder just what she would have done with that last episode...

Sometimes a Cigar Joke is Just a Cigar Joke

Anonymous has long puzzled over Don Gerard's relentless, passionate, perhaps obsessive advocacy of the abolition of smoker's rights in these fine twin cities. Don is normally a totally mellow and unopinionated kind of guy not known for running around town stomping out everyone's liberty, but sure enough he's lost his mind these last couple of years. It's as if he's afraid of cigarettes or something.

And we all know how silly that is!

Well, after directing her team of expert researchers to do exhaustive expert research, Anonymous may have gotten to the bottom of it.

And Now, By Popular Demand

Poor Little Donny's parents wouldn't let him bring monkeys to the house, so how can he ever really be happy? He never got to cuddle up on the couch with an orangutan watching Leave it to Beaver reruns all day and drinking YooHoos until their tummies ached. He never had a chance to teach a gorilla to type. He never had to apologize to the neighbors for one of those naughty chimpanzee messes, and now he'll probably never be able to survive a surprise attack by bonobos. I wish Don's parents had understood the importance of primate-boy bonding.

Oh hey, Anonymous! Here's your hot monkey action!

The Readers are Revolting

A commenter has expressed some kind of concern about the use of cute kittens on Anonymous' blog. Yes, it is possible that cute kittens are the new plague of the intertubes, so we'll just post angry monkeys until the dust settles.

Anonymous Won't Be the Same without Him

Okay. So he's gone now too. Anonymous can barely deal with her grief. She can't check in here or go around trashing up her friends' blogs with sassy comments. She never makes it to the coffee shop on time and can't sleep through the night for thoughts of him. Whatever. He was funny, sure, but Anonymous has so much to live for. GET OUT OF BED, WOMAN.

Here She Is

I should have guessed.

Why?

Anonymous has been awfully dang quiet this week. That's not like her! Though I did hear she was talking trash about me over at the coffee shop: no fair.

She Comes Late to the Party but With the Right Idea

While bloggers like Stephanie and Lynndi might be thinking of the serious true meaning of the holiday OR have "complaints" about the weekend's weather forecast, Anonymous AS ALWAYS finds the silver lining.

Ars Gratis Artis

Anonymous Saw a Bad Accident This Weekend

How did it affect her? When can we expect her to get back to normal? Will she give details or hold it all in as usual?

Another of Her Heroes Falls

What's she gonna do now for guidance and inspiration?

The Question on Everyone's Mind

Dear Abby,
I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working
musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I
have been noticing strange things happening when I get
home. Her cell phone rings and she steps outside to
answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later".
When I ask her who called, she gets evasive. Sometimes
she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting
dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of
the way. I once picked up the extension while she was
on the phone and she got very angry.
A buddy of mine, who is also a guitar player, told me
that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He
wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the
idea to find out for myself what was really happening.
I said "Sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide
behind it at the gig and see if she shows up, and who
she shows up with." He agreed.
Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall
JCM800 half stack to get a good view. I could feel the
heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that
moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed
that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the
other three.
Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to
take it to a technician?

Thanks,
Very Concerned

Monday Already?

I happened to see Anonymous at the coffee shop this morning. Her hair was amazing. I wonder what she has to say about her weekend.

Did Anonymous Sleep Well?

I wonder what she had for breakfast. I can't imagine that she knows the importance of a healthy breakfast OR a good night's sleep, but let's find out.

I Bet Anonymous Would Like This Video

It's Thursday, Isn't It?

I'm wondering what anonymous thinks about that. Or the weather.